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07/16/2002 "Vatican Sitting On Time Machine?" BOCA RATON, Fla. (Wireless Flash) -- First, the Vatican was accused of hiding the records of priests who've abused kids. Now, it's being accused of hiding a time machine. The machine in question is called a "Chronovisor" and was built in the 1950s by a Benedictine monk named Father Pellegrino Ernetti. No photos of the Chronovisor exist, but paranormal journalist John Chambers says Ernetti reportedly used the "way back machine" to film Christ's crucifixion for Vatican officials. Ernetti died in 1994 without revealing the secret of the Chronovisor but Chambers says evidence is mounting that the Catholic Church is hiding a working model from the rest of the world, supposedly to keep it from getting into evil hands.
Sound crazy? Maybe, but there may be something to it. Chambers says a Jesuit priest named Father Francois Brune believes the Chronovisor must exist because -- in the priest's words -- "Ernetti wouldn't lie about such things."
I believe, as the late Douglas Adams once wrote about a similar device, the Vatican is really using it to go back in time and watch 'Friends' because they can't figure out how to program their VCR. They moved it to the catacombs and no longer use it now that they have TiVO.
By the way, Professor Gonzo would never turn beer to water. He would've made tennis balls.
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